When a narcissist inquires about you and chooses to actively listen, understand that the reason for this is the insight gained towards your perspective-your world view-how you perceive. This usually takes place in the love bombing phase which kills two birds with one stone.
The silent treatment is another tactic that can be used to gain this insight as well.
Let me tell you how this works in regards to the silent treatment-
When the narcissist goes silent-visibly, you cannot prove an actual true representation of the cause and effect for the narcissist’s true reasoning behind his deployed silent treatment.
A silent treatment can come about in two ways: the narcissist initiates it after causing a fight or the narcissist just randomly went silent (never forget this is one of the narcissist’s greatest fears). So in saying this, the reason for the silent treatment will either be due to something the narcissist falsely accuses you of or because your perception of the lack of texts or calls you aren’t receiving from the narcissist thus, your jumping to conclusions.
This jumping to conclusions is the cause of you than, relaying emotion towards the narcissist -blaming the narcissist for your held perception of nothingness.
So at this point, you are now the cause of the narcissist’s silent treatment. So to conclude, you will receive the silent treatment because you are to blame.
This is how the narcissist operates and thinks.
This insight I speak of, it is gained by the narcissist, from your reactions to the narcissist’s gaslighting.
You show the narcissist a) what it is your perceiving so he can use that to manipulate you with b) how much control he has over the influence of your perception c) what your willing to say and do to get a response
Never forget – the narcissist cannot know your perception without your reaction. The greatest key I give you today is knowing that without your reaction, the narcissist cannot actually stick with any form of gaslighting he has deployed. Your reaction is the narcissists reality, this is why the narcissist needs supply. He cannot perceive in reality without you reacting. Without the narcissist knowing your perception via your reaction, the narcissist cannot assume in his reality.
When the narcissist accuses you of random things that did not happen, if you have never reacted to such before, and you choose to go no contact or simply not respond when something like that does happens, you will gain an apology or a change of topic along side a display of amnesia. This is because the narcissist cannot rely on your past reactions to his gaslighting to gain a sense of control when trying to manipulate you. The narcissist cannot know how or if you will believe the gaslighting or if you will choose to never come back -this makes the narcissist very uneasy.