The value of your perspective

When a narcissist inquires about you and chooses to actively listen, understand that the reason for this is the insight gained towards your perspective-your world view-how you perceive. This usually takes place in the love bombing phase which kills two birds with one stone.

The silent treatment is another tactic that can be used to gain this insight as well.

Let me tell you how this works in regards to the silent treatment-

When the narcissist goes silent-visibly, you cannot prove an actual true representation of the cause and effect for the narcissist’s true reasoning behind his deployed silent treatment.

A silent treatment can come about in two ways: the narcissist initiates it after causing a fight or the narcissist just randomly went silent (never forget this is one of the narcissist’s greatest fears). So in saying this, the reason for the silent treatment will either be due to something the narcissist falsely accuses you of or because your perception of the lack of texts or calls you aren’t receiving from the narcissist thus, your jumping to conclusions.

This jumping to conclusions is the cause of you than, relaying emotion towards the narcissist -blaming the narcissist for your held perception of nothingness.

So at this point, you are now the cause of the narcissist’s silent treatment. So to conclude, you will receive the silent treatment because you are to blame.

This is how the narcissist operates and thinks.

This insight I speak of, it is gained by the narcissist, from your reactions to the narcissist’s gaslighting.

You show the narcissist a) what it is your perceiving so he can use that to manipulate you with b) how much control he has over the influence of your perception c) what your willing to say and do to get a response

Never forget – the narcissist cannot know your perception without your reaction. The greatest key I give you today is knowing that without your reaction, the narcissist cannot actually stick with any form of gaslighting he has deployed. Your reaction is the narcissists reality, this is why the narcissist needs supply. He cannot perceive in reality without you reacting. Without the narcissist knowing your perception via your reaction, the narcissist cannot assume in his reality.

When the narcissist accuses you of random things that did not happen, if you have never reacted to such before, and you choose to go no contact or simply not respond when something like that does happens, you will gain an apology or a change of topic along side a display of amnesia. This is because the narcissist cannot rely on your past reactions to his gaslighting to gain a sense of control when trying to manipulate you. The narcissist cannot know how or if you will believe the gaslighting or if you will choose to never come back -this makes the narcissist very uneasy.

The mask is on you

People constantly ask the question “when does the narcissist’s mask drop”, but the thing is, the narcissist is not wearing a mask. What the narcissist is actually doing is placing one on you. When the narcissist decides to take the mask off of your face, you than realize who the narcissist is.

The person the narcissist is blinding is himself because the mask he placed onto your face, is reflective on the other side of that mask-it is a mirror. The narcissist cannot see you and you cannot see the narcissist. Nothing changes in the narcissist. The victim does not know the narcissist has placed a mask on one’s face.

The master illusion the narcissist conducts before his victim is making one think they are loved by him in the beginning(also known as love bombing) and this is why you constantly hear the reference of the narcissist’s mask slipping or falling off. The mind cannot understand the dialectical conclusion of the narcissist being able to make the victim feel loved, as if they are in-love and hold ill will towards them.

The christian narcissist

You may run into a narcissist who displays a deep connection with God-preaching the bible verse by verse, pretending they are some divine being but of course, this too is not real.

Many people make the mistake in automatically believing that what the narcissist speaks, is automatic fact and this is also, very untrue but I hope by now you have made the connection between god and the narcissist pretending he is such.

The narcissist will choose no one over his it, (his false self), not even god. All the claims and biblical versus the narcissists spews and all the church visits and faith talk, solely, contradicts the narcissists every action and word in his/her life.

Whether the narcissist lacks awareness to his own delusions(very unlikely), or whether the narcissist is fully aware that his actions and existence reflect the opposite of the words in a bible, truth is truth.

The truth is-a christian would not excuse the evil that resides within them, for the sake of God. This alone, should prove to you that all victims of narcissists truly cannot remove this evil from any narcissist.

Never ending conversations with the overt narcissist.

Communication-something a narcissist cannot do because he is consistently interacting with “himself”. This can leave a person feeling hopeless thus, shutting down entirely because one is taught that one’s words fall on a deaf and blind narcissist or becoming louder in desperate attempts to be heard whether it be becoming aggressive, rephrasing One’s words, inquiring for clarification , etc.. This desperation usually leaves a person at the mercy of the narcissist.

When someone is trying to prevent appearing “wrong”, circulating conversations arise. This is due to projection-falsely blaming others for what one is “guilty” off (gaslighting). This is commonly used in the narcissist due to their heightened anxiety to protect the false self.

How to avoid these circumstances is to of course, go no contact. If such is not possible, grey rock. Understand that both these methods do not remove the urge to have the narcissist “validate” reality for you. Accepting that the narcissist will not validate reality for you is critical. You have to be able to confirm and validate your own perception versus doubting it as the narcissist has trained you to falsely believe in their delusions.

There is no peace

Living with a narcissist is like living in a hell made just for you. Your weaknesses, your emotions, your reality-everything about you-is exploited which is extremely consequential, at the very least. A million tactics are deployed if one lives with a narcissist. Some examples are:

1. Picking random fights with you which in turn, puts you on the defence automatically

2. Keeping you hyper vigilant by slamming doors, walking heavily, slamming cupboards

3. Never granting you a moment of peace mentally and emotionally, everything the narcissist does is exaggerated and annoying to create heightened emotions, alongside confusion

Something so meaningless

Prior to a very unwanted experience with a narcissist, you most likely did not know how one small and meaningless conversation can become something that can be used against you.

Let me give you an example of what type of conversation and its associated tactic I am talking about to you-

The narcissist-morning babe how are you?

You– Im good how are you?

The narcissist-I’m good. Just wanted you to know I hope your having a good day.

You-aww thanks babe.

The narcissist– so how is bob?

You– I do not know a bob?

The narcissist-ignores you for two weeks

Now, any reaction you give the narcissist from this point on in such a conversation will now –

1. Be used by the narcissist as the false reason for ignoring you

2. Provide the narcissist with what looks to be as “tangible proof” to backup his smear campaigning and his/her abusive behaviour. In the above example, the narcissist wants his victim’s reactions to display exactly how the conversation above was laid out-aka a normal reaction.

So, not only does the narcissist use such a small and normal thing like a meaningless conversation as something to exploit you with, the narcissist also uses your very normal reaction to his bizarre behaviour against you.

So how does the narcissist do this?

By training you to hold a very specific belief regarding your normal reactions to his odd and abnormal behaviour.

Yes, the narcissist is the one behaving oddly not you, the only difference is the narcissist is trying to program your unconscious into holding a belief that your reactions to his/her bizarre behaviour is the problem instead. This particular belief in itself creates a whole other pile of cognitive problems for a person

The narcissist’s ultimate expectation

When a person enters the realm of a narcissist, the expectation to obey the narcissist’s reality is immediately placed on you. This expectation is displayed before you as your “relationship” with the narcissist and becomes constitutional a major part of your inner and outer reality.

With time, you slowly become aware of the major fact that the narcissist is truly living a lie and has merged your world with such. You have unknowingly united with the narcissist in their psychosis unwillingly. When this knowledge surfaces in one’s mind, it is not comprehended as how I am describing it now. The conflicting, confusion and emotional shock the narcissist stirs up for their “spouse” is by far the ultimate distraction to this ultimate expectation.

What makes this entire circumstance even worse is when the narcissist blames you for attempting to align with reality. Any and all attempts to live in reality are deemed as a threat by the narcissist.